Roommates say the darnedest things!

This summer my roommates and I have kept a quote wall of memorable things we have said that were really funny. So to preserve the memories, I am going to record them on here! That way, 37 years from now, we can look back and laugh again about the old times :)

*****Note: These quotations will remain authorless to protect the innocent. Also, they only make sense in context.*****

"I always get fuzzies there and I pick at them."
"And that's why I wish I was a man!"
"No! He's really cute, he just has a mole between his eyes."
"Will you lay on me?"
"Our dishwasher totally lays down a beat."
"Zamoroni"
"I have to pee like a pregnant mexican race horse!"
"You're like a holocaust survivor."
"I might take my pants off tonight."
"Yes it does. She has man parts now."
"Zuhhh!" "No."
"Easy Dump"
"Don't be nervous. Do you want me to lay on you or something?"
"Here's your shoes with no tongue."
"We're a family...If she has AIDS, we all have AIDS."
"Pray for your salvation!"
"It tastes like really good poop!"
"I was sitting in class when I saw this guy's eyelashes...then I decided, 'Wow. I'm really attracted to guys with long eyelashes.'"
"Why do we have to be attracted to men?" "Yeah, why can't we be attracted to cats or sprinkler heads?"
"You wratched."
"Did I ever tell about how an ant attached to my brother's uvula?"
"That's the last time we're adopting Asians."
"If the llama would've spit 'invitational' on the ground, I would've been impressed."
"Yeah! Rain and Chick-fil-a together!"
"Children, please. I will murder you in your sleep...It's like a spanking but a little worse."
"Your dad's a vegan?" "No, he's Presbyterian."
"Imagine this song like they're talking to a bra."
"The library is SICK!"
"Oh...That's a hard one; one's hot and the other one is cute."
"Well my apologies to the kids in Africa, but I'm throwing this away..."
"I trust you to cut my butt and not my pants."
"Who wants some purple drank?!"
"Do nuns have a Facebook?"
"I'm just not attracted to other genders."
"Are you trolling me?"
"Hold up!!! What if I get a hot hometeacher?"
"I hope I don't get spices in my contacts!"
"Tests are like sports for me. And I'm on the Allstar team."
"Touch my body...Breanne! Please stop raping my leg!!"
"It's like Depends for the floor."

I love these girls so much!!! They have made me laugh til my abs hurt everyday this summer, and I'm going to miss them more than words can describe. They are and always will be my sisters from different misters <3